My Little Pony: Pie Eating Contest.

It was a big day in Ponyville. Well, if every time Pinkie Pie threw a party was considered a 'Big Day,' they could be considered Big Weeks, or Big Months. But today stood out, as it seemed Pinkie had invited the entire town! Trying to pack that many people into Sugar Cube Corner was difficult, but by experience, they knew it was worth it.

Twilight helped herself to some punch as she watched Applejack attempt in vein to Pin the Tail on the Pony. "A little to the left!" she thought with all her might, but try as she might, the pin still ended up three inches away from the picture's flank.

"Well you did better than Rarity," she laughed.

"Yeah," Fluttershy smiled, "In fact the only person to get it so far is Scootaloo."

"Thanks guys, a darn shame she didn't get that Party Game Cutie Mark she was hopin' for, though." AJ herself took a swig of punch, but her stomach was rumbling for something a little more solid. "Gosh darn it, where can a pony get a bite to eat around here? Pinkie's biggest party in years and she forgets the snack food? That gal's kookier than a…really kooky thing."

Twilight finished her third cup of punch. "I was wondering about that actually, quite frankly I'm starved!"

"Did someone say hungry?"

"Um…no, I quite clearly said 'starved.'"

Pinkie leapt into view, after being uncharacteristically absent for almost the entirety of the party. There was something different about her. What it was exactly wasn't immediately obvious.

"Pinkie you ol' nut!" Rainbow Dash laughed as she dropped down to her from the air. "Where've you been this whole time? Not much of a Pinkie Pie Party without a little Pinkie Pie."

She giggled, "Well you can bet this party's gonna get a whole lot more Pinkified in just a moment! Anyone got an accordion?"

"I do!"

In a moment it had been transferred to Pinkie's hooves. As expected, this was immediately succeeded by putting it to use and quite completely overshadowing the music that was already blaring quite loudly.

"'Was mixin' up some muffin just the other day,
Couldn't quite get it, so the Cakes' showed me the way,
Got some batter on my hooves, licked it off,
Tasted sweet!
Discovered it was something all ponies would love to eat!
But there just isn't enough, and I really couldn't choose,
Cos' if I chose wrong, my friends would sing the Blues,
Couldn't have that, so I whipped this up in a hurry,
Ponyville's First Official 'Eat Pinkie Pie Party!!!!'"

Twilight blinked. "Um, I'm not quite sure I understand."

"Well what if I put it this way…

I'm a pony who's tasty!
Go ahead and be hasty!
Who wants to gobble me up?
Don't let me go to waste-y!
Hope you're belly's a growlin'!
Your taste buds a howlin'!
You best not be scowlin'
Cos its time to get chowin'!"

"Pinkie my dear, your singing is lovely, I assure you, but don't you think we'd understand better if you just told us what you meant?"

"Alright, fine!" she did her best to sound grumpy, but it was clear she was full of nothing but cheer (As if that were anything new).  "The other day I realized just how nice I tasted! Probably from all those sweet's I've had. I wanted to share it with the rest of Ponyville, but there's just so many of you and so little of me, I didn't know who to ask! And I couldn't ask everyone at once. But then I realized, 'Wait, yes I can, duh! So here I am, asking!"

There was a moment of silence.

"Uhm, could you please run that by us again?"

Pinkie's face sank in annoyance. "Two songs and a detailed summary, what more can I give you guys? Who wants to eat me?"

The silence had returned. Feeling the tension rise within the building, Rarity finally stepped up.

"Pinkie, Sweetheart, uh, how do I put this…I can say with the utmost certainly that nopony here has ever considered wanting to eat you, even if your last name is a food."

Pinkie seemed bewildered. "What? B-but I taste so good! Don't you think I look yummy?"

Rarity blinked. "I…well, I suppose you do look like the pony form of a party cake, but to actually want to eat you? Don't be absurd!"

"Does this taste absurd to you?" she stuffed her hoof in Rarity's mouth.

"Pinbie waba yo doinb?" she mumbled in protest as her mouth filled with the end of Pinkie's leg. She could hardly believe she was actually having this conversation. She could hardly believe Pinkie was actually doing this. She could hardly believe that Pinkie was right and she tasted fant-frickin'-tastic! She was quite gob smacked.

"Heha! Pretty yummy, huh? I spent the first half of the party rubbing myself all over with icing so I was octupple tasty! So what do you say, Rarity? Feel like eating me now?"

After a moment of enjoyment, she quickly spat the hoof out in a fit of confusion. "Absolutely not, Pinkie! I'm your friend, why would I ever want to do something like that!?"

The bouncy Pink pony seemed offended. "B-but it would make me happy."

"Trust me, Pinkie Pah," Applejack galloped into the circle, quickly followed by the others. "Meltin' away in belly juice ain't a fun way to go. I've lost enough pets to serpentine varmints to know that better 'an most!"

"She's right," nodded Fluttershy, who had taken care of a great many snakes.

"Besides," Twilight laughed nervously, "Why would you want to get eaten anyway? You know that would…well, kill you, right?"

"Well duh," she replied, energetically rolling her eyes. "How old do you think I am? Two? I want to share my fantabulous flavor with a pony who would appreciate it. The pony most deserving and the one I wouldn't mind becoming a part of forever! I'd have just invited you guys, but I didn't want anyone to feel left out."

The sheer dedication to friendship warmed each of their hearts a little. Which, upon remembering the context, made them feel well and truly bizarre. In essence, Pinkie was asking them to kill her. None of them wanted to do that, but she just wanted it so badly! Could they even do that? It was all so very confusing.

"I'll do it Pinkie, I care about you!"

Eyes turned to a grey pony now entering the circle. She had a blonde mane and had something strange going on with her eyes, but judging by her smile, she was pretty legit in her claim.

"Oh you do? That makes me so happy I could just sing about it!
Oh when I was just a-"

"Wait a second, hang on!" Rainbow stared accusingly and the lop eyed Pegasus. "I don't know you, I hardly recognize you; are you trying to tell me YOU care more about my best friend than I do?"

"Rainbow, calm down-"

"Urh, well I guess I am. I wasn't really thinking that, but if I'm willing to eat her and you're not, I guess so."

Thunder seemed to crack as these words were uttered. This pony had questioned Dash's loyalty. A grave mistake indeed. "If she really wanted me to, I'd swallow her whole and wash her down with a swimming pool of grape juice!"

"But I do!" bounced Pinkie, suddenly feeling very foolish in not setting up a swimming pool.

"Look at you, I bet you couldn't even fit your lips around her head! How are you supposed to get her in there?"

"I don't know, how are you planning to do it?"

"Like this!" Rainbow opened her mouth as wide as she could. This wasn't very wide at all, truth be told, so she went and opened it even further. She looked utterly bizarre with her jaw stretched that wide; it really looked like she could fit in a whole pony!

Which became all the more obvious when the confronted mare curiously stepped inside.

"Gee, I guess I was wrong about you. You should go ahead."

"Famp oo" she mumbled, gulping hard, ballooning out her throat to an impossible size before the bulge dropped to her stomach, hitting the floor. "Now come 'ere Pinkie! I'm gonna show you what our friendship really means to me!"

Pinkie was overjoyed, but Twilight had to be a stick in the mud, and point out one obvious fact.

"RAINBOW DASH! YOU JUST ATE SOMEONE!"

"So?" she asked. "She stepped inside my mouth aaaaand oh my gosh what have I done?!" her eyes bulged out of her head as she looked upon her gigantic, wiggling gut. The pony inside bucked and shook, but she wasn't going anywhere.

"Okay, I'd like to come out now!"

Dash did something she had never considered before; try to throw up. Sadly, even though she could stretch her mouth out again, it seemed she was just too big to force back up her throat. While most of the party goers looked on in absolute worry, Pinkie seemed delighted.

"Oh Dash! I should've picked you from the start! You're my bestest friend ever!"
The following hug made the whole situation seem all the more surreal. Dash's bloated girth still contained a struggling and frightened grey pony, but she couldn't help feeling her heart grow in warmth at Pinkie's embrace. She wanted this, admittedly bizarre action, more than anything, and she was more than capable of giving it to her…

"Hey, wait a cotton pickin' minute! What about us Pinkie?" eyes were on Applejack.

"Haven't you been listening?" Rainbow grunted, "There's only one Pinkie and a whole town of hungry ponies. Not enough to share."

"I ain't talkin' 'bout that! I thought I was your best friend, too. I didn't know we was pickin' favorites!"

"Well you're my best friend as well. I just meant-"

"You mean just cos she wants you in her gullet, that means she cares about you more than we do?"

"Hey, it's a pretty big deal, you know!" the multi-colored pony went on the offensive, "Once she's in there, she's not getting out."

"I'm aware of that, that's why I don't want her pickin' the first, er, second pony who thinks she'd make a nice snack!" ("Why isn't anypony helping me?")

"Girls!" Twilight stepped in, looking utterly shocked. "Do you have any idea what you're even talking about? This is insane!"

"Sugarcube, this isn't about eating Pinkie, this is about friendship. You more than anyone should know that's a pretty big deal 'round here."

"Friendship or not, this is just crazy! Nopony should ever be asked to EAT their friends! Rarity, back me up here."

"S-sorry Twilight, she does taste quite divine." Twilight applied her hoof to her face. "But now that you mention it, I find myself a tad offended as well. Pinkie darling, don't you feel I'm just as good a friend as Dash or Applejack!"

Pinkie didn't seem very comfortable in this situation. She though this party was going to make it easier, but now everyone wanted to eat her! It was hard enjoying their affection for her when they were getting at each other's throats like that. It was a rare occasion indeed; Pinkie was sad at her own party. This did not go unnoticed by Twilight.

"Pinkie… I just can't… you really want this, don't you?" She nodded. This would honestly make her happy. Biting her lip, she finally came out with it, "Fine. I'll do it. If it'll make you happy, I'll eat you."

Her frown vanished and turned into a gaping smile. "Oh thank you so much Twilight! I promise I'll be the sweetest most delicious pony you've ever eaten!"

"Hey did you forget about me?!" roared Dash, her wings beating at thrice their usual speed to keep her in the air. "I'm Pinkie's best friend ever!"

"What about you?" asked a brown unicorn. "Do you have any idea how many parties she's thrown? She's probably got more friends than anyone else in Equestria! Maybe I might be her best friend ever!"

"Oh please," scoffed AJ, "Just look at yeh, you couldn't eat your way out of a bag o' pretzels!"

"I could eat every pony here if I wanted to!"

"Not if I eat you first!" with a gulp of epic proportions, Rarity joined Dash in the bulging stomach club. "See Pinkie, I can handle it! You should pick me!"

"Uh…"

"Rarity! This is Pinkie's choice and she already picked me, so could we all just stop eating each other?"

"Correction 'you' picked 'you,' Twilight, and before that she was just as interested in Rainbow Dash doing the deed!"

"If you two can eat a pony, I'm bettin' I could eat nine!" Cherilee was unfortunate enough to be with it biting distance as this was declared, and soon found herself inside Applejack's belly.

"I have magic on my side! I can make the process painless and even pleasant for her, I'm the only logical choice, so if you don't mind I'll just-"

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURP!" Fluttershy lay on top of a tremendous bed of a gut. If she had to guess, it now housed three or four ponies. "…I'm your best friend too…" she meeped as she was heaved into the spotlight.

This incidentally prevented  The Mayor from stretching her own lips around the Pegasus, though it appeared a few others had not been quite so fortunate. "Well, I'm quite fond of Ms. Pie myself…"

"Alright fine!" roared Twilight in frustration. If that's how you guys want it, the one who truly deserves Pinkie's friendship will be the last pony standing!" as soon as she had finished the sentence, a girl with a mane of blue vanished in an aura of magenta, and reappeared inside Twi's now hanging stomach.

"C'mere you!" Applejack leapt into the air and snatched up a pegasus wise enough to try and retreat, but was unfortunately too slow. Two ponies in the stomach made it very difficult to touch the floor with her hooves, but that didn't stop her from leaping face first at another victim.

The following scene was absolute carnage. Ponies bounced all around the building, their mouths wide open as they attempted to cram each other inside. Fluttershy's monolithic middle allowed her to pin a number of fillies beneath her as she slurped up somepony else, while Rainbow Dash made good use of her wings and sped around the room making her targets vanish like magic as she grow more and more stuffed. Twilight herself had gone into a fit of laughter, just point and feeling herself grow more and more full; it got to the point that her horn had somehow felt limp from overuse, giving her incentive to go on the prowl like the others. It was a truly strange day when the only person standing still was Pinkie Pie.

"NOM! Uuuurp!"

"Rarity!" Applejack roared in fury. "What in Equestria was that for?"

"My sincerest apologies, Applejack," she replied, not sounding sincere at all, "but Applebloom already had Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara under her belt and I wasn't about to pass up such an opportunity!"

"Well if that's how it's gonna be," she turned and swallowed Sweetiebelle in one gulp.

"You fiend!"

The sheer size of them was now rather incredulous. Fluttershy had lost her dominance to Twilight, though this still left her sitting atop an enormous cream ball, kicking and jiggling in every direction as those inside attempted to free themselves. Twiilight was a giggling mess, rolling around, crushing furniture as she snapped her hungry jaws at any pony unfortunate enough to get too close. And even with this absolutely monstrous and uncouth activity being performed by herself of all ponies, Rarity, just in the back of her mind, couldn't help considering a new fashion line for plus sized ponies resulting from all this.

"Pinkie, don't you think you should try and calm your friends down?" pleaded Mr. Cake, who was hiding behind the counter. "This is getting…this has gotten really out of control!"

"But if I make them stop, they'll just go back to arguing! At least this way they're getting something done ^^"

"But I-" he was then slurped up by Ms. Cake, who herself then fell victim to Rainbow Dash, who couldn't hope to get back into the air at this stage if she had an industrial strength forklift. Pinkie merely reveled in delight knowing how much Ms. Cake liked her.

"The Great and Powerful Trixie demands that you release her at once!" Scootaloo ignored her, gulping her victim down as she herself sank down Lyra's throat, who was herself seconds away from vanishing into Twist, who in turn was finding herself devoured by Fluttershy. Who it might be interesting to add, apologized with each gulp.

The doors opened, revealing Spike dressed in a party hat, "Hey guys sorry I'm la-" he was a bulge in Rarity's stomach.

"BY THE POWERS OF FRIENDSHIP I WILL DEVOUR ALL OF YOU!" declared Twilight as she snapped up the band, who until this point had been left alone long enough to supply a rendition of Ride of the Valkyries to the event.

The roof caved in as Applejack's massive belly grew a single pony too heavy. It seemed anyone who didn't want to eat someone had retreated up to Pinkie's room. It did not help them in the slightest.

"Mmm, Big Macintosh, big flavor!" belched Rainbow Dash.
"These fillies are divine!" gulped Rarity.
"GET INSIDE MY STOMACH!" cried Twilight.
"Granny Smith stop playin', you know you can't keep up!" hiccupped Applejack.
"I'm really very sorry," meeped Fluttershy.

The feast raged on, and not one pony gave it less than their all. Even after plopping down a throat, they were so caught up that they continued to swallow down anypony they could reach. Very little of the establishment remained in one piece, however. With bellies so big, they had crashed and smashes through walls, crushed furniture, demolished the floor, and in general turned the place into a sugar coated wasteland!

And before long, the winner, the biggest glutton in all of Ponyville (if not Equestria), and Pinkies bestest friend in the entire world, lay flat on their back as the entire population of Ponyville gurgled, blorped and digested inside their magnificently mountainous stomach!

A five way tie between Twilight, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack.

"UUUUUUrrruuuUUURRRRPPPAAAAAH! Oh…man, I'm…oh man I have never felt this full in my life…errrhh…'hicUUUUUUURP!'"

"I couldn't possibly eat another nibble…"

"HA!" laughed a dizzy Rainbow Dash in triumph. "I-I win! I'm the biggest! I've got….I've got…" her belly was in fact just about on par with the others. "I've got…I couldn't eat another bite…'hic.'"

"Yeah, what she said…Urp!"

The only sound remaining was the gurgles of digested, hard breathing, and the occasional yelp from within the multicolored bellies. That was until…

"THAT! WAS! AMAAAAAAAZIIIIIIIIIIIIING!"
Pinkie Pie seemed to jump a whole mile in the air as pure, unrelenting joy overcame her.

"I just simply cannot believe it! I mean, I know you guys were all my bestest friends ever, but I thought there was a limit, but there isn't! You're all the greatest, most wonderful bestest and awesome-fudge-covered-pepperoni-tastic friends somepony could ask for! I should have known that from the start! I feel so darn silly!"

Had they any things, they'd have given her a few thumbs up. Sadly they did not even feel themselves to have the strength to lift their front legs.

"But that just brings us back to where we started! Five awesome mouths, and one me. We couldn't narrow it down even after all that! This is going to be one heck of a doozy to solve!"

"Um, Pinkie," said Twilight threw a rather putrid belch.

"Yeha?"

"I…don't think any of us could eat you if we even tried. Not right now anyway…"

"Actually dear, I think it's safe to say we won't need to eat ever again. I for one can't even begin to fathom the diet I'm going to need to work this off! UuUUUUUuuuuUUUURAAAAAAAP!"

"What? Seriously? After all of that none of you even WANT to eat me anymore?"

"Sorry Pinkie Pie, I guess we kind of overdid it."

Her lip trembled as she looked upon her friends, blimps of ingested ponies (and a dragon) trapped in the euphoria of their own excess…and then grew a smile almost as wide as said blimps. "Well I guess that means this Eat Pinkie Party just became a Belly Bouncing Party!"

With a mighty leap, she found herself on Fluttershy's stomach, hopping and bouncing as though her friend were a jumping castle. Half way from dozing off thanks to her immense overeating, she may as well have been anyway.

"Ha...ha…he, that Pinkie Pie, she's nutty…. UuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOORRROOORRUUUURPPPPP!" Applejack promptly covered her mouth, and found Sweetybelle's ribbon now sitting in her hoof. A roar of laughter burst out of all six of them. Through her gut busting laughter, Twilight levitated a quill and paper before her and began to put down a new note.

Dear Princess Celestia, today I've learnt that sometimes friendship means more than what you think. Sometimes it means doing something you might consider strange, or even crazy. But sometimes, you just need to give it a whirl, and who knows? You might end up having the time of your life and realize just how much you care about those around you.
-Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.

She smiled as Pinkie took to her purple planet of a gut as her latest jumping ground (Now playing the tuba and singing a new song about bouncing). Even if Pinkie remained undigested, she was glad to see that there was a way they could all bring her such overwhelming joy. "Now Spike can I…Spike? Um, hello? Spike? Where'd he get to?"

The End.