Mallory the Mouth

A young woman walked along by herself on the beach of a small, tropical island. She had just awoken and was leaving a large ship behind her. It had been quite a trip, and she had lost her only companion, and yet not a sad thought raced through her mind…

Quite definitely alone on the sunny beach, she happily glugged at a large jug of rum and smacked her exposed stomach as it filled with the drink. Even before she had taken her first sip that day, her girth was round and large. She herself was a bit plump, but her belly seemed particularly bloated.

It was quite clear that she had been wearing these same clothes for a while; outside of the colours fading, her brown pants were split down the side, and her belly spilled out completely under her red and white shirt. Even her generous breasts seemed like they were wiggling for freedom from the tight top; she’d obviously put these on at a time when she was a tad thinner. Even the bandana holding her dirty blonde hair in place had faded in color.

Tossing away the empty jug, she let out a hearty belch as she shook her gut about, listening to the contents slosh about. She kept to the path as she waddled along, nostalgic for her beloved jug of rum.

“Ello’ girly…” smirked a grin full of yellow teeth.

It seemed the young woman was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn’t notice the five or six men she had just walked into.
There must have been about five of them. Maybe just four, as one was quite young; if she had to guess, he was just the cabin boy. Had to be fifteen, at the very oldest. Still, that left four grown men advancing on her.

“Now how exactly did you get here, young miss?” asked a burly pirate with an eye patch. “This is our secret little island. Nobody else is supposed to know…”

Belching again, the woman waved the fumes out of her face before replying, “I know. I tied me rowboat to ya ship and ya pulled me along the whole way. Ain’t my fault ya didn’t notice.”

The pirate frowned, “Well that ain’ a bit of good… is that rum on yer breath?” he laughed, “Should ya really be drinking in ya condition?”

“Me condition?” she asked before putting a hand on her big belly. “Oh! Yeah, that. I guess I look about ready to pop, aye? I was alone for most of the trip, so I almost forgot how big the ol’ girl had gotten…”

Another pirate moved in, casually waving a pocket knife around, “Most of the trip? What, did the lucky father-to-be fall overboard? Darn shame, that. Perhaps a reunions in order!”

She grinned, posing to put her stomach on full display. “Not quite, matey…

And then, she smacked the knife out of his hand, grabbed him by the waist, opened her mouth wide, and proceeded to swallow him alive. All in one bite.

The other three pirates immediately screamed as they watched their shipmate plunge into the woman’s already large stomach within seconds. He didn’t put up any fight whatsoever; he didn’t have the chance.

“Mallory the Mouth!” a bearded pirate yelped, jumping back. “It’s bloody Mallory the Mouth, it is!”

The woman smiled and shrugged, “Haha! Ya got me! I wanted to ‘play’ a little more, but ya pal there was getting a bit too friendly,” she kicked said knife away, but nobody noticed. They were all staring at her massive, squirming stomach. A stomach that contained a full grown man.

She giggled, “Wow, ya sure are scared! Come on, ya can’t be that surprised! What, did you really think a lass would go out to see when she’s on the verge of giving birth? You should have seen this coming a mile away!”

They had reason to be scared. Any pirate worth his salt had a gruesome reputation following them, but Mallory’s was something else. She had no crew, nor a famed ship for that matter; she worked alone and would often sneak aboard her vessels before they left port. Once out to see, she’d devour most of the crew and briefly commandeer the ship with the fearful survivors, who themselves would often be devoured by the end of the trip.

It made her a legend, but it was a more recent event that confirmed her existence and really shook up these poor, lost souls.

“Port Teech…”

“Haha!” Mallory slapped her stomach (hitting her prey right in the face), “Port Teech! Oh, that was one hell of a night!” After devouring the entire crew of a rum runner vessel, Mallory had helped herself to their entire rum stock. When she had sobered up, she had a pair of Navy soldiers hanging out of her mouth and was laying back in the ruins of the governer’s mansion.

“Took me a while to drop all that weight!” she flexed her chubby arms, “I thought it made me look a real treasure, but it made sailing an awful pain.”

She stepped forward. They stepped back. “Now then…who be next?”

“I ain’t afraid of no bloated wench!” growled a pirate with a bushy mustache. Holding his cutlass out, he charged at Mallory.

Simply turned to the side, she smacked him hard with her stomach and he fell to the ground unconscious. “Huh, perhaps ya should be!”

The remaining three quickly decided to do the smart thing and run in the opposite direction. Mallroy groaned, “Don’t run! Do ya think I can run with this whale of a gut? I am NOT dealing with that sort of indigestion!”
At least she had a little snack ready.

Her tanned stomach grew more and more as the second pirate slithered down her throat, putting up even less of a fight than his friend. She took her time with him; in fact she was not at all a fan of the ‘single gulp’ swallows like she did on him. It was uncomfortable, gave her no time to enjoy the meal, and in a worst case scenario, made her feel terribly sick. But in moments like that, it was needed.

The unfortunate pirate completely consumed, Mallory began waddling her way after the others. She whistled a little sea shanty as she hugged and rubbed at the massive, wriggly ball in front of her. It was such a surreal experience; no matter how many times she did it, she never got used to it. It was like experiencing your first kiss for the first time, over and over again.

Though in her case, this actually WAS how her first kiss ended up.

“Now where did they get-BRAAAAAAHHHHP-to?” she wondered, looking through the jungle, squeezing her belly between to palm trees (snapping both of them). Her stomach heaved up and down with every step, slapping against her knees, and generally making it the worst experience ever for those inside (even ignoring the digestive process that was melting them away).

Before long, Mallory was headed up a winding path up a rock face. Going uphill with that belly was not much fun, but it’d take more than that to slow her down when there was more tasty morsels to fill her belly with somewhere.

“Where aaaaare yoooouBRAAAAAAAAAHP!?” she sang out playfully. And then heard a loud roar. “Oh…oh no!” she cupped her hands around her face and began running up the path as quickly as she could.

At the top, there they were, her three little escapees, stuck up to their chests in quicksand. That was bad enough on its own, but on the other side, stood a tiger, swatting its paws towards them, trying to reach.

“Hold tight, me hearties!” she declared in a heroic tone of voice. “Don’t struggle; ya’ll sink faster AND make him pounce!”

“This not be our day, lads,” the bearded pirate declared. His point was further proven as Mallory hopped onto his head.

As heavy as three people, this immediately made the bearded pirate sink a few good inches before she hopped off of his head and onto his friend’s. In a matter of minutes, they’d gone from the scourge of the seven seas to a pair of human stepping stones.

The cabin boy braced himself for a pair of boots slamming onto his head, but instead saw the voracious pirate woman land in front of him. He looked up in surprise and got a good look at Mallory’s large bottom, squeezing her pants tight. Such a lovely sight completely distracted him from the back view of her belly full of his crewmates.

“Enjoying the view, laddy?” she laughed, causing him to blush.

The tiger immediately pounced, and Mallory dropped to the ground. There was no way even she could intimidate a tiger…so instead, she opened her mouth wide and caught it in her mouth. She was a little thankful that it only got halfway down her throat, so she could take it slowly, but the animal could still scratch and slash away at her insides. It was very fortunate that she had so much experience with this.

The three pirates were forced to watch as she ate the tiger up, until she was slurping his tale down like spaghetti. Its shape could be very clearly seen on her massive middle, and its muffled roars could still be heard. Along with the equally muffled screams.

“Oh, I would not want to be those two right now!” she cackled as her belly shook about in a violent manner. One could only imagine the horrific imagery of what was going on inside of her…

Certainly she didn’t seem bothered by it, and with a grunt, a lot of wobbling and some very noxious belches, she pulled the cabin boy free, and immediately moved onto the pirate closest to her.

The boy laughed, happy to be alive after such a hopeless scenario. “Lady, I can’t thank you enough. I was afraid that was going to be the end of-“ he stopped midsentence as he saw Mallory helping the pirate out of the quicksand…and straight into her mouth “Oh right…”

The kid could have tried to push her in; she’d sink like a stone with that haul inside of her! But in the off chance it didn’t work, he knew he’d be next on the menu, and for some reason she hadn’t already eaten him; he was counting his lucky stars as it was.

“You’ll regret this, wench!” shouted the last pirate as Mallory reached for him, still swallowing her previous meal’s boots. I’ve got scurvy, mnemonic and at least seven other diseases I can’t pronounce the name of!”

“Oh goodie, that always gives me indigestion…” she thought to herself as she stuffed his head into her own, the muddy boots of the bearded pirate still kicking out of her lips.

Mallory fell flat on her back, a man’s lower body hanging outside of her mouth. The cabin boy was too weak to run, and so simply watched as she devoured him alive, her body ballooning to truly bizarre proportions.

“Come on!” the pirate yelped from inside her throat, “I’d have preferred the quicksand. I don’t want to go in there with the tiger!” Sadly, he had no choice in the matter, and the tiger quickly found a new playmate.

“BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHP!” Mallory grinned, moaning in ecstasy as her stomach shook, wobbled and bounced around. Such a position of power, such a full feeling; it was almost orgasmic.

This left the cabin boy in a very awkward position, watching as this bloated woman groaned and gasped with joy while pinned under a fleshy prison full of people he had been serving for the last year or so.

“Ma’am…uh…”

“Oh, right…” she tried to quell herself, but didn’t do a very good job. “Ya wouldn’t by any chance know where the treasure is, would yam tasty?”

After (briefly) weighing his options, the boy found himself guiding the monster of a pirate to his crew’s hideout. Despite her vast size, Mallory was still surprisingly mobile. Not very mobile at all, really, but still able to stand and inch herself forward. That’s where the cabin boy came in, trying to hold up the massive, massive weight of her stomach to let her keep a decent pace.

“So kid, got yourself a name?”

“J-j-j-j-j-“

“Jejej? That’s not a real name; you made it up!” she huffed.

“Joshua…” he managed to grunt.

“Ah, that’s more like it. How’d ya end up with these folks, anyway? Kidnapped? Sold maybe?”

“The…the navig-gator’s my uncle…”

“Oh, sorry then, I’m probably going to have to eat him.”

“Already…did…”

“Oh…well how about when we’re done here, I eat ya too? Keep the family together!”

He did not seem overly enthusiastic about the idea. Mallory could only shrug in response; at least she had tried to be courteous.

An hour or so had passed into the slow journey. While rightly disturbed, Joshua was somewhat thankful that she’d begun digesting everyone, making her belly a lot lighter (but still unbearably heavy). With a log fort below in the distance, Mallory pushed her stomach off of him and rested it on a rock.

“Take a breather kid, ya’ve done a good job!”

“Thanks,” he said, collapsing onto his back.

Taking a small spyglass out of her pocket, the hungry girl looked over at the fort. She could see more pirates inside, but not how many there were. Running a hand over her massive stomach, she contemplated what to do next. Even she wasn’t dumb enough to just waddle the rest of the way and hope for the best.

“Twelve,” declared Joshua. “There’s twelve of them down there, Miss.”

“Oh, thank ye! Ya’re an awfully helpful young lad, considering the horrible things I’ve just done,” she gave a genuine smile.

He shrugged, “Pirates. My uncle was a great man, but he did almost lose me in a game of Liar’s Dice, once.”

Mallory shook her head, “It’s a hard life out here. I’ve been caught and almost executed at least five times, meself.”

“Really?” he asked, genuinely curious. “What, were you too heavy for the noose or something?”

“No, actually. I’d never tell them me name, so they’d just assume I was pregnant. They’d have to let me and my ‘innocent baby’ go!” she laughed. Joshua laughed too. “I did eat me executioner once, but that’s a surprisingly long story…”

“Well if you’re not careful, this might be your last story. Are you aware this as Captain Hal Taggert’s crew?”

“Afraid so…” As easy as four of his men had been to devour, Taggert was not someone to be taken lightly. For one, he carried a blunderbuss at all times, and had a habit of using it whenever his short fuse was blown. His grey beard was stained with brown patches; dried droplets of blood from his many battles. He was the kind of man to see slaying Mallory as a challenge rather than a threat, and at her current size, it wasn’t much challenge at all…

“A right shame I couldn’t just knock the whole fort over,” she mused. And then she paused as a thought struck her. “Joshua, push me!”

“Huh?”

“Push me or I’ll eat ya right here and now!” she said as if she was actually promising a reward. Certainly not wanting what she was offering, the cabin boy stood up and gave her a shove, sending the woman toppling down the hill. And then he watched as she began rolling down in a straight line, until she was barrelling towards the fort like a massive boulder.

From this distance, there wasn’t much to it. She collided with the fort, collapsing the entire structure as she tore through to the other side, caught by a set of trees (which snapped from the impact).

“Blood hell!” he declared, before running down to see the results first hand.

By the time Joshua had arrived, Mallory had already gotten up and had begun digging through the wreckage. It had been so sudden and so quick, the crew were at best left groaning and struggling to get up, and at worst, mortally wounded.
Mallory hadn’t noticed and had begun stuffing each of them in her mouth indiscriminately as she found them.

Joshua glared in awe. Mallory the Mouth had q dangerous reputation, but she had just defeated Captain Taggert’s entire crew without any effort. With every bite, gulp and belch, she was wiping the infamous band of scoundrels off the face of the Earth and into her girth.

What a way to go, eaten alive, of all things! Well, eaten by some god-like sea monster was one thing, but this was truly embarrassing.

“Captain?” Joshua called out. Then he looked over to see Mallory sucking up a long, flowing length of scraggly grey and brown hair. “Yeesh…”

He could only watch as what little remaining of the crew was gobbled into the greedy girl’s gut. The massive mound of Mallory meat hung high in the air and seemed to jut out in every direction. Every inch wiggled and wobbled as the occupants awoke to try and escape, but none stood a chance. After Port Teech, sixteen pirates and a tiger were hardly any challenge to keep down.

“BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHP! Oh, excuBRAAHHUUUUUUURAAAAAAAAAAHP! Wow, I’m such a pig today! It’s like-URRRAAAAARRuRRuURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRhhhPPPPPPPPPPP!!!” Mallory laid herself back and rested her head under her arms. What a haul; she had to turn her head to see anything that wasn’t her own glorious figure! Not only that, but she’d now single handedly outdone one of few people she actually feared. There wasn’t a word to describe her ecstasy!

“This feels amauUUURRRRP!” a boot flew out from her lips. “Hey Joshy, I got another job for ya, lad!” He stepped closer to her, very cautious of the gurgling mountain that took the place of the fort. “Rub it. It’ll help me digest all yer old buddies, but more importantly it’ll feel really damn good.”

Without much hesitation, he began pressing his hands into the side of her gut, and she immediately gasped in excitement. “Now don’t skimp on me, Joshy Boy. I want yer finest work! Every inch needs a good rubbin’!”

He craned his head up to the top and sighed. Bracing himself, he began climbing up the side, using his former crewmat’s struggling figures for traction. Judging by all the burping Mallory did with each step, he was killing two birds with one stone.

“Well that just leaves one last thing…” she thought aloud, “Where do they keep the treasure, anyway?” Something shook underneath her. “Hmmm? Oh my, did…did I cause an Earthquake!?”

Excited at the idea that her gluttony was so immense that it split the tectonic plates (not that she’d ever heard that term in her life), her train of thought was unexpectedly cut off as her massive form broke through the floor.
Joshua at least had a wonderfully soft landing; Mallory instead hit something quite hard, only cushioned by her belly’s immense size and her bottom’s own fleshy padding.

At first she was annoyed…then she realized she had landed on a mound of gold. Her eyes adjusted to the light, and all that was there for her to see was gold, jewels, and more gold and jewels. Her eyes widened with excitement; even a pirate as infamous as her had never seen such a beautiful sight.

“Hey Joshy!” she wobbled her stomach and watched as he slid down the front of her belly and towards her face. Naturally he screamed and tried to pull away, but calmed himself as he was instead given a simple kiss on the cheek. “A little somethin’ for you. I’d have never gotten this far without yer helpin’ hands,” she playfully fluttered her eyes.

“Uh, you’re welcome…” he climbed off of her stomach as she began to excitedly play with the doubloons, and popped a solid gold crown onto her head.

“In fact I have an offer for ya, dear peasant,” she giggled. “Stick around and give me a hand, aye? I don’t think I’ll be able to carry all of this plunder meself even when me belly’s a more manageable size. I like ya, so I’ll be honest; unless I forget or you’re reeeal good at ya job, I’m gonna eventually eat ya.”

He nodded, “And if I say no to this offer, you’ll just eat me now, right?” she nodded. “Well I think I know the smart choice to make her, Captain,” he saluted her and tossed a diamond ring her way. “So…what’s the plan once we’re done here?”

Mallory adjusted her position to something more comfortable, slipping the ring on, along with a pearl necklace. “Been thinkin’ about that before I got here, actually. I’ll be honest with ya, lad; I hate eating pirates. We taste like garbage; sunburnt, full of fish, diseased, and we never shower, blegh!” she waved a hand in front of her face. “I’d like something a little…cleaner, really. Something fresh and well kept, that hasn’t been out in the sun too long.”

Joshua sifted out a powdery, white wig out of the piles of treasure, “Like an aristocrat?”

Mallory winked at him, took the wig and threw in on over the crown. “So what do you think?” she grabbed his hands and posed with him, as if dancing at a ball, “Countess Mallory the First, a mysterious woman of wealth, power and, many, many, hundreds of mysteriously vanishing suitors?”

Her stomach roared in excitement and the entire island shook. Oh, what glorious things were to come…