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Literature Text
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF GLUTTONY!
MISTY MCINTYRE!
VERSUS!
DAPHNE!
BEGIN!
Misty.
STOP!
Are you serious? This twig can't hope to beat me!
This girl's so thin, she's only in 2-D!
I'm gonna squash you flat, I promise I'm no liar,
All the people in the street know I'm-
(Misty McIntyre!)
You're wasting away, so thin its making me delirious.
You want to work off that food baby of yours? You can't be serious!
Just time to face facts, you know it cos' it's true,
I'm the biggest, baddest, bellied BBW!
Daphne.
Beware, young McIntyre, you're not in North Carolina' anymore,
Prepare to have your big butt beaten down like never before!
I may not match your size, but a good snack and I'll make you look teeny,
Have fun maxing out your card, I'll just chill with my Genie.
While your ass is expanding from New York to the Bay,
I'm crossing over with more artists and writers every day!
All I ever see you do is pose and cram more food in your face,
The world isn't going to end if you don't give it a goddamn taste!
Misty.
Take it easy, sister, this is almost more than I can take!
Your silly rhymes? Nah, I'm referring to this cake.
I'd offer you a slice, but I hear you're on a diet.
There's this new thing: Fun. Maybe you should try it.
It not about tearing off your buttons, it's about the cuisine,
A round hunk of man wouldn't hurt either, if you know what I mean.
You're trying too hard, you just don't know when to stop.
This is why I've never been in a story that ended with a POP!
And experiments to get pregnant? Sounds like more than one fat lady just sang,
I can't even count my venture's that have ended with a BANG!
Daphne.
Urh, looking at you hurts my eyes, tone it down, um what was it, Sally?
Has anyone said that you walked right out of the Uncanny Valley?
Always flaunting that bulging gut, yeah it'll leave the fan boys stunned,
"The Adventure of Misty, coming soon to PS1"
Your fat!
There's no 'chunky, plump or rubenesque about the situation
Why don't you get off your ass and make your life more than indefinite vacation?
I don't have your grace, in comparison I'm a slob
But I've got a new thing for you too, bitch: It' called a JOB!
WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT? YOU DECIDE! (Except not since you guys were so darn slow about it) last time).
EEEEEEEPIC RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBATTLES OF GGGGGGGGGGGGGLUTTONY!
MISTY MCINTYRE!
VERSUS!
DAPHNE!
BEGIN!
Misty.
STOP!
Are you serious? This twig can't hope to beat me!
This girl's so thin, she's only in 2-D!
I'm gonna squash you flat, I promise I'm no liar,
All the people in the street know I'm-
(Misty McIntyre!)
You're wasting away, so thin its making me delirious.
You want to work off that food baby of yours? You can't be serious!
Just time to face facts, you know it cos' it's true,
I'm the biggest, baddest, bellied BBW!
Daphne.
Beware, young McIntyre, you're not in North Carolina' anymore,
Prepare to have your big butt beaten down like never before!
I may not match your size, but a good snack and I'll make you look teeny,
Have fun maxing out your card, I'll just chill with my Genie.
While your ass is expanding from New York to the Bay,
I'm crossing over with more artists and writers every day!
All I ever see you do is pose and cram more food in your face,
The world isn't going to end if you don't give it a goddamn taste!
Misty.
Take it easy, sister, this is almost more than I can take!
Your silly rhymes? Nah, I'm referring to this cake.
I'd offer you a slice, but I hear you're on a diet.
There's this new thing: Fun. Maybe you should try it.
It not about tearing off your buttons, it's about the cuisine,
A round hunk of man wouldn't hurt either, if you know what I mean.
You're trying too hard, you just don't know when to stop.
This is why I've never been in a story that ended with a POP!
And experiments to get pregnant? Sounds like more than one fat lady just sang,
I can't even count my venture's that have ended with a BANG!
Daphne.
Urh, looking at you hurts my eyes, tone it down, um what was it, Sally?
Has anyone said that you walked right out of the Uncanny Valley?
Always flaunting that bulging gut, yeah it'll leave the fan boys stunned,
"The Adventure of Misty, coming soon to PS1"
Your fat!
There's no 'chunky, plump or rubenesque about the situation
Why don't you get off your ass and make your life more than indefinite vacation?
I don't have your grace, in comparison I'm a slob
But I've got a new thing for you too, bitch: It' called a JOB!
WHO WON? WHOSE NEXT? YOU DECIDE! (Except not since you guys were so darn slow about it) last time).
EEEEEEEPIC RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAP BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBATTLES OF GGGGGGGGGGGGGLUTTONY!
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The Third Epic Rap Battle is upon us! Flee brothers, flee!
IN THE LEFT CORNER! Weighing in at much more than the average individual, with a waist line of 'really quite plump,' please welcome the first official BBW of the ERBG, 's MISTY MCINTYRE!
AND IN THE RIGHT CORNER, a prominent stuffer among preggies, with hair-a-blue and an appetite for anything liable to ruin her diet, say hello to the one, the only, 's DAPHNE!
Misty McIntyre copywrite of
Daphne copywrite of
IN THE LEFT CORNER! Weighing in at much more than the average individual, with a waist line of 'really quite plump,' please welcome the first official BBW of the ERBG, 's MISTY MCINTYRE!
AND IN THE RIGHT CORNER, a prominent stuffer among preggies, with hair-a-blue and an appetite for anything liable to ruin her diet, say hello to the one, the only, 's DAPHNE!
Misty McIntyre copywrite of
Daphne copywrite of
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Comments7
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Ha! I've just now discovered this series and they are totally awesome! Keep it up!